Dear imaginary penpal,
This would be my first post for you. First and foremost, let me introduce myself. You can call my dynz. Nothing about me or my name is spectacular, so just call me that, kay. Today, I was actually wondering about something. It may not seem that important but still give me a chance to babble about it for a moment.
I believe myself to be an emotionally deficient person, not without emotion, but just lacking of it. Maybe its because I think I have such a low EQ test result but that was only one of the test. I was dissapointed anyhow. Doesn't that count as an emotion. Probably it tries to quantify the way you express your emotion but then again, how do you quantify something that you could not see. I love to express myself but sometime, I wonder whether I am being my true self in front of people. Who am I? Why am I here? What am I doing? Basically those are the questions that are going through every second of my life.
Have you wondered so much? I wonder tooo. :) Is there a way to answer this question? I like to believe I am like water. I believe in adapting to situations when it comes to it. It is so hard really. You get tired easily and you feel like you want to express yourself in another way, but you don't know how really. I like to be able to be a leader but I am always scared to take risk. I like to see everything through but I will lose my courage along the way. And one more thing that I find myself lacking is a way to be interested in something or especially, someone. I like something but only to the point where I will get bored of it. Is there a way around this?
And another thing, it is like an anger management thing to me. Well, not really anger management, just a tantrum management, I guess. I always get angry/tantrum when people chastise me. I would get really fired up, that i just stormed away. My way though to manage this side of me is that, I believe in thinking when I get mad, bad things will happen to me. It really does though. I usually slip or somehow find ways to injure myself when I am angry, and can I say OUCH!!! So I stop myself from getting angry by thinking being angry only injuring myself, and it doesn't bring much advantage to me. So, I stop being angry. But I start by being easily fed up with the world. So I guess I have to start figure my way around that then....
Sorry, for this oddly rambling post. I must say this type of rambling post may be the first, but it is not the last. Can't help just writing what I want to say. In a way, I guess, this is how I express myself. If there is someone reading this, which I doubt, please forgive me for my own chaotic rambling post.
Tata, Bye.Sayonara. Hope to be able to write to you again, my imaginary penpal. :P
